Talking with Teens About Sex: How to Engage in Conversations (and Keep Them Going)

Before we dive in, it’s important to acknowledge this: conversations about sexual health shouldn’t start in adolescence, they should start well before. In today’s culture, kids are exposed to information (and misinformation) earlier than ever, often before they’re developmentally ready to make sense of it and often by sources other than you. By creating safe, open dialogue with our kids early on, we equip them with the tools they need to ask us their questions, build healthy relationships, understand boundaries, and make informed decisions long before they reach their teen years.

Let’s be honest: most parents don’t look forward to “the talk”. It’s uncomfortable, awkward, and sometimes feels like a minefield. Usually this is because we were raised in a time when talking about sex was less common and our parents believed that keeping children “innocent” about sex for as long as possible was the safest thing they could do. Because of the influences of generations of parenting beliefs, many of us are still uncomfortable with the topic. But what we now know is when it comes to raising informed, healthy, and confident teens, open and honest conversations about sex are essential — and they’re most effective when they’re ongoing, not just one big, one-time sit-down.

At Thrive Well, we believe that mental, emotional, and physical wellness are all deeply connected — and that includes how teens understand their bodies, boundaries, and relationships.

Here’s how to the conversation about sex going:

1. Lead with Curiosity, Not Judgment

Your teen already knows more than you think — and they may have heard things that are inaccurate or harmful. Instead of diving straight into information, ask open-ended questions:

· “What are you hearing about sex from your friends or online?”

· “Is there anything you’re confused or curious about?”

This creates space for dialogue rather than a one-sided lecture.

2. Use Real-Life Moments as Entry Points

TV shows, music, TikToks, or even school events can be natural opportunities to bring up topics around consent, relationships, or boundaries. These moments help make the conversation feel relevant and organic, not forced or formal.

3. Talk About More Than Just “The Act”

Sexual health includes emotions, consent, respect, boundaries, gender identity, and body autonomy. Make space for those conversations too. Teens want to know how to navigate feelings, peer pressure, and what it means to have a healthy relationship — physically and emotionally.

4. Let Them Know They Can Come Back Anytime

The goal isn’t to “get it all out in one go.” It’s to create a foundation of trust, safety, and openness. Even if your teen shrugs, rolls their eyes, or shuts down in the moment — they’ll remember that the door is open.

Try saying:
"You don’t have to talk about this now. But if you ever have questions or need someone to talk to, I’m here."

5. It’s Okay If You Don’t Know Everything

You’re not expected to have all the answers — and it’s perfectly okay to say:
"That’s a great question. Let me do a little research and we’ll talk about it again."

Being honest models confidence, curiosity, and a willingness to learn — all things we want to instill in our teens too.

Final Thought

Talking about sex with your teen doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be real. When we lead with empathy and openness, we give teens the tools to make informed, respectful, and safe choices as they grow.

And if you need help navigating the hard stuff, you’re not alone. Thrive Well’s therapists are here to support parents and teens every step of the way.